Tag Archives: the druid

Mr. & Mrs. Odin

dreamstime_xs_19990796You’ve heard of outtakes and cut scenes from the movies? If you sat through the credits of of The Avengers, for example, you were rewarded by some special footage.  The following is a bonus scene which fell between the cracks of Dani & the Immortals.  Popcorn is optional.  ~ S.G. Rogers
ornament29Dr. Sigmund peered at the couple on the couch before him.  “Mr. and Mrs. Odin, after several days of intense therapy—”

“Doctor, the name is Friday,” the Nordic blonde interrupted.  “It’s important to me to have my own identity.”

A muscle quivered in Odin’s jaw but he said nothing.

The doctor nodded. “All right, Friday. The way I see it, we have some enormous challenges to overcome in your marriage.”

Friday snorted and pointed at her husband.  “For one thing, he doesn’t trust me.”

Odin bristled.  “Adultery in a wife is never a desirable quality.”

“You’re one to talk!” she exclaimed.  “They don’t call you The Wanderer for nothing, Odin. Thor is only your most visible indiscretion.”

Odin folded his well-muscled arms across his massive chest and stared straight ahead.

“To save your marriage, we must move past this blame game,” Dr. Sigmund said.

“I’ve been cooped up on Fensalir practically forever, thanks to him,” Friday said, flicking a glance at Odin.  “I’d say our relationship has been shot to Helheim and back.”

“I understand that.  Mr. Odin, I propose you give your wife a little freedom.”

“A lot of freedom and a lot of gold,” Friday said.  “It’s my turn to visit to Midgard.  I want to do some shopping.”

“Be sure to buy yourself another necklace,” Odin said through clenched teeth.

Friday gasped in outrage.  “How dare you throw that in my face!  Go hang yourself on Yggdrasil!”

The two immortals jumped to their feet and began to bicker.  As the volume increased, the doctor rose from his chair, strode from the room, and slammed the door behind him.  Odin and Friday exchanged a guilty glance.

“I guess we’re having our own personal Ragnarök,” she said.

Odin sighed. “Let’s hope it’s not the end of the world for our marriage.”
ornament29DANICOVER7When Dani was a teen, she had it all; a starring role in her own television series, a wonderful family, and her health. A few years later, everything has changed for the worse—and her time is running short. All she wants to do before she dies is to fall in love, but when she’s kidnapped and taken to Asgard of Norse mythology, she becomes enmeshed in a quarrel between immortals. Prince Rein lends a hand in her quest to return home, and she begins to think the handsome elf has captured her heart. After a magical artifact goes missing, however, he may be forced to marry another woman to avert a diplomatic catastrophe. To find the artifact and save the prince, Dani must undertake a dangerous quest involving ogres, dark fairies, and underworld criminals. Ultimately, however, she’ll have to defy Odin himself.

Dani & the Immortals is available for the Kindle HERE

Idunn’s Secret of Youth

How did the Norse gods stay looking so fresh and dewy? A visit to the goddess Idunn was much better than Botox to the immortals. The lovely goddess was associated with fertility and eternal youth. What was her secret? An apple from Idunn’s orchard kept the gray at bay for the Norse pantheon known as the Æsir.

In the Prose Edda, a full-blown midlife crisis develops when Loki lures Idunn from Asgard at the behest of a giant named Pjazi. Pjazi then spirits Idunn off to his crib in the land of the giants, Jötunheimr.

The gods freak out as wrinkles and age spots began to appear on their formerly pristine bodies. A little sleuthing leads them to the usual suspect, Loki. Under threats of death and dismemberment, Loki agrees to rescue Idunn from Pjazi. Upon her return to Asgard, disaster is averted and the immortals are revitalized. The story ends well for everyone except for Pjazi, who is burned to a giant apple crisp when he tries to reclaim Idunn.

Eternal youth has allure, but chasing after it bit Pjazi in the ash.

In Dani & the Immortals, a drink from the long-lost Cup of Immortality has the same effect as a bite of Idunn’s apple. If you had the Cup, would you keep it to yourself or sell it to the highest bidder? And if you knew you had all the time in the world, would you still be able to live life to the fullest?

As for me, I think immortality might be a little overrated. As time marches on, however, I certainly don’t mind a teaspoon of applesauce now and again.

~ Suzanne
sgrDani&theImmortals6x9When the Cup of Immortality is stolen in Asgard, anger and suspicion is leveled at Dani Avery. Ordered from Asgard by Odin and –even worse– discovering Prince Rein has been betrothed to Leanna of the Faeries, Dani sets out to find the Cup and save Rein from an unwanted marriage.

Dani, Rein, and Emrys begin their desperate search for the real thief and the missing Cup. Unfortunately, the sultry and self-centered Leanna insists on tagging along, and causes them to run afoul of a ruthless crime boss who will stop at nothing to gain their silence…including kidnapping.

As the clock ticks away, Dani has to make a choice between continuing the search for the Cup or finding her missing friends. Will Dani unwittingly sacrifice Rein’s life in her attempt to save their relationship? Or will she deliberately sacrifice their relationship in order to save his life?

EXCERPT:
Dani and the Restive Forest Ljósálfar had left their mounts in a clearing a little way down the mountain. They’d fanned out as they crept toward the entrance to the cave. Dragon wriggled and strained to be free, but Dani held him back by his collar.

“Shh,” she whispered. “Not yet.”

“I can lead the charge,” Katt offered.

Dani shook her head. “It would be better to draw them out, Katt. We don’t know how many bad guys are in there.”

She whispered instructions to Dragon and set him down on the ground. The dog trotted around the boulder, barking and wagging his tail. As he drew closer to the cave, the ogres laughed and pointed.

“Look! It’s a doggy!”

Dragon stood up on his hind legs and danced around. The ogres clapped and giggled. Then the Pomeranian rolled from side to side on the ground. The ogres roared with appreciation. Dragon sat up and extended a dainty paw, as if to shake hands.

When the ogres bent closer, Dragon lit them up like a blowtorch. The ogres panicked. They abandoned their posts and tore down the mountain as if their hair was on fire—which it was. Afterward, the dog sat at the entrance of the tunnel and barked.

“Dragon, hush!” Dani whispered. “Come back here!”

After a long pause, Dragon whined, turned tail and ran. Ogres and dark elves poured out of the hole in the side of the mountain, armed to the teeth.

Newt aimed his bow. “That drew them out.”

Dani & the Immortals is available at Amazon!

 

 

Fun Facts About Norse Mythology – Thor and Loki in Drag

The goddess Freyja was truly a lovely lass.  In fact, the king of the giants, Thrymr, was so enamored of her that he devised a sure-fire scheme to lure Freyja into matrimony.  The poem Thrymskvida details how he stole Thor’s hammer, planning to trade it to the gods for Freyja’s hand in marriage.

Nothing screams ‘romance’ like extortion.

To retrieve Mjölnir, Thor and Loki worked together in a sting operation.  Thor posed in a bridal gown, Loki dressed as his bridesmaid, and they traveled to Thrymr’s kingdom in Jötunheimr for the nuptials.

Thrymr’s reception for his fiancée was a sumptuous affair.  Although the giants became suspicious when Thor chowed down a whole ox, quick-thinking Loki explained the bride hadn’t eaten for over a week due to marital jitters. He further accounted for the bride’s scary eyes by pointing out she hadn’t managed a wink of sleep either.

The giants bought it.  What can I say? Love is blind.

At last the time arrived to exchange wedding gifts.  When the jötnar presented Mjölnir to Thor…well, let’s just say it wasn’t wedding cake lovingly smashed into Thrymr’s face.

One. Giant. Mistake.

~ S.G. Rogers

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DANICOVER7When Dani was a teen, she had it all; a starring role in her own television series, a wonderful family, and her health. A few years later, everything has changed for the worse—and her time is running short. All she wants to do before she dies is to fall in love, but when she’s kidnapped and taken to Asgard of Norse mythology, she becomes enmeshed in a quarrel between immortals. Prince Rein lends a hand in her quest to return home, and she begins to think the handsome elf has captured her heart. After a magical artifact goes missing, however, he may be forced to marry another woman to avert a diplomatic catastrophe. To find the artifact and save the prince, Dani must undertake a dangerous quest involving ogres, dark fairies, and underworld criminals. Ultimately, however, she’ll have to defy Odin himself.

Dani & the Immortals is available for the Kindle HERE

Fun Facts About Norse Mythology – Loki the Gadfly

Loki made a bet with the smithy dwarf Brokkr that his designer label wasn’t as cool as the Sons of Ivaldi designer label.

Bad bet.

Among other super nifty magical creations, Brokkr and his brother Eitri made…Mjölnir, Thor’s awesome hammer.

[Wait!…how the heck do you pronounce Mjölnir anyway?  Watch a short video by Wiseman2024 on YouTube HERE.  It’s mee-uhl-neer for the impatient among us.]

Now Loki REALLY didn’t want to lose the bet because his head was riding on it.  Literally.  So while the Brokkr brothers were slaving away over a hot, magical forge, Loki transformed himself into a gadfly. He bit Brokkr on the eyeball (ew) and as a result, Mjolnir’s handle came out (gasp) a wee bit short.  Since the hammer was nevertheless PHAT, Thor took delivery anyway and compensated by wearing iron gloves. (This goes to prove the axiom that it’s not the size of the hammer that matters, but how you wield it.)

Since Loki lost the bet, you may very well wonder how he managed to keep his head.  In typical Loki fashion, he weaseled out of the bet on a technicality. He claimed Brokkr couldn’t take his head without also damaging his dainty neck (not part of the wager).  Brokkr was hopping mad, and sewed Loki’s lying pie-hole with wire so the trickster couldn’t boast until the wire came out.

For Loki’s next gig, he ran for political office.

~ S.G. Rogers

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DANICOVER7When Dani was a teen, she had it all; a starring role in her own television series, a wonderful family, and her health. A few years later, everything has changed for the worse—and her time is running short. All she wants to do before she dies is to fall in love, but when she’s kidnapped and taken to Asgard of Norse mythology, she becomes enmeshed in a quarrel between immortals. Prince Rein lends a hand in her quest to return home, and she begins to think the handsome elf has captured her heart. After a magical artifact goes missing, however, he may be forced to marry another woman to avert a diplomatic catastrophe. To find the artifact and save the prince, Dani must undertake a dangerous quest involving ogres, dark fairies, and underworld criminals. Ultimately, however, she’ll have to defy Odin himself.

Dani & the Immortals is available for the Kindle HERE

Fun Facts About Norse Mythology – Loki’s Loose Lips

Loki shot his mouth off a lot. His boasts and bad bets often led to fascinating and unintended consequences. After his naughty prank on Thor’s wife Sif, Loki became acquainted with the workmanship of the smithy dwarves, the Sons of Ivaldi.

From the Sons of Ivaldi, Loki bought Sif’s golden headpiece, an awesome ship for Freyr, and Odin’s famous spear. Not a bad haul, don’t you think? Loki was so pleased with himself that he trash-talked all the other smithy dwarves.  Smithy dwarf Brokkr made the bad boy a bet. As a result, Brokkr’s über talented brother fashioned a glow-in-the-dark boar, Odin’s golden ring, and Thor’s hammer, Mjölnir.

Speak to the hand, Loki.

Here’s the conundrum: If Loki hadn’t messed around with Thor’s wife, Thor might not have come into his weapon of choice. So do you think Dr. Phil could Brokkr a truce between Thor and Loki, or is this just a Freudian Sif?

~ S.G. Rogers

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DANICOVER7When Dani was a teen, she had it all; a starring role in her own television series, a wonderful family, and her health. A few years later, everything has changed for the worse—and her time is running short. All she wants to do before she dies is to fall in love, but when she’s kidnapped and taken to Asgard of Norse mythology, she becomes enmeshed in a quarrel between immortals. Prince Rein lends a hand in her quest to return home, and she begins to think the handsome elf has captured her heart. After a magical artifact goes missing, however, he may be forced to marry another woman to avert a diplomatic catastrophe. To find the artifact and save the prince, Dani must undertake a dangerous quest involving ogres, dark fairies, and underworld criminals. Ultimately, however, she’ll have to defy Odin himself.

Dani & the Immortals is available for the Kindle HERE

Fun Facts About Norse Mythology – Valhalla

Although there’s no sorting hat in Norse mythology, dead folks ARE separated into categories.  Those that die an inglorious death go to Helheim.  Among fallen warriors, the Valkyries lead half to Valhalla. The rest go to Fólkvangr to hang out with the goddess Freyja.

Valhalla is Odin’s realm.  Located in Asgard, the “hall of the slain” is quite a swanky destination.  Vast enough to house legions of heroes, the roof is covered with golden shields. Food is abundant, but the menu seems to be somewhat limited.  The goat Heidrún produces an unlimited supply of mead and a boar named Sæhrímnir is slaughtered for its meat. Like a nightmare version of the movie Groundhog Day, poor Sæhrímnir is brought back to life each morning to be killed and eaten for dinner.

The residents of Valhalla, known as the einherjar, don’t lack for recreation either.  After donning war gear, these intrepid souls go out into the courtyard and practice fighting every day. They are expected to pitch in to fight for Odin when the ultimate battle, Ragnarök rolls around.

Valkyries pull double duty as waitpersons in Valhalla.  Rumor has it that the working conditions in Valhalla are good, but the tips are terrible.  ~ S.G. Rogers

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DANICOVER7When Dani was a teen, she had it all; a starring role in her own television series, a wonderful family, and her health. A few years later, everything has changed for the worse—and her time is running short. All she wants to do before she dies is to fall in love, but when she’s kidnapped and taken to Asgard of Norse mythology, she becomes enmeshed in a quarrel between immortals. Prince Rein lends a hand in her quest to return home, and she begins to think the handsome elf has captured her heart. After a magical artifact goes missing, however, he may be forced to marry another woman to avert a diplomatic catastrophe. To find the artifact and save the prince, Dani must undertake a dangerous quest involving ogres, dark fairies, and underworld criminals. Ultimately, however, she’ll have to defy Odin himself.

Dani & the Immortals is available for the Kindle HERE

Savannah’s Secret Underground Tunnel Conspiracy Revealed

There is an urban legend in Savannah which is rooted in fact.  There are tunnels underneath the city, constructed a long time ago, for which no definitive explanation exists.  Some were supposedly used to kidnap hapless men from taverns, to be pressed into service as deckhands by passing pirates. Others may have been used as underground morgues during a Yellow Fever outbreak in the late 1800s.  Perhaps the tunnels were used as drainage systems, or for shelter during hurricanes.  Although one or two tunnel entrances are still accessible, most of the network has long since crumbled, been walled off, or been built over.  Nevertheless, speculation continues…until now.

I managed to score an interview with the receptionist at the Asgard Embassy, downtown Savannah.  Rodentia (last name withheld) is a bureaucRat, the administrative class of beings from Asgard.  She agreed to answer a few questions about the tunnels and how they relate to a deeper conspiracy of silence.

Rodentia, can you tell us a little about where you work?

(Giggles) There are several Asgard Embassies around Midgard—I mean Earth—but they’re all secret.  I work at the embassy built underneath a bookstore in downtown Savannah, Georgia.  The embassy helps expatriates and tourists with any problems they might encounter in Midgard. We’re a major stop on the Rainbow Bridge subway system.

What is the Rainbow Bridge subway system?

The subway leads to Asgard, of course.  Heimdallr, or Mr. H as he likes to be called, is the Station Master.  The Rainbow Bridge is the passage between the Nine Worlds. It used to be a lot more primitive, but Mr. H modernized it considerably over the years.

Can anyone use the Rainbow Bridge? 

Oh, no, but there are rules and regulations I’m not at liberty to divulge.  The immortals don’t mind if I talk about things in a general way because they rather enjoy the glamour it brings.  But if I were to go too far, Mr. H would have me brought to Odin for a hearing.  I wouldn’t want Odin to turn me into a cat or something (shudders).

Are you saying the stories that compose Norse mythology aren’t myths?

The immortals are as real as I am (giggles), but much of the rest has changed over time.  Many of the old stories were exaggerated or flat-out wrong.  Even Emrys Drew used a lot of the old myths in his novel The Asgard Adventure.  He’s so good-looking, though, I’d forgive him anything (sigh).

Thanks, Rodentia!

Kidnapped from Earth and abandoned in Asgard of Norse mythology, Dani Avery must fight to return home.  When she stumbles upon a band of outlaws, Prince Rein agrees to take her to the Rainbow Bridge personally. Although Dani is attracted to the handsome elf, his only interest seems to be in separating her from the magical sword and shield at her side. In Asgard City, rules, regulations and bureaucrats stymie Dani’s quest.  Increasingly frustrated and desperate, she seeks help among powerful immortals. Unfortunately, Dani becomes ensnared in a devious trap that may leave her stranded and alone in Asgard forever.

 

The Druid – An Asgard Adventure Book One fantasy novella available from Musa Publishing (all formats) and Amazon. ($2.99) Look for Book Two in June!